While most people are sending flowers, going to brunch, and making phone calls, I'm doing something much different. I'm shutting out the world. I'm hiding...sometimes all weekend, or maybe just for the day. This is never an easy day for me. I can't handle watching TV...being around other families...seeing all the commercials, etc about...mom.
You would think that after 22 years it wouldn't get to me as much. It's quite the opposite. As I get older, I find myself needing her more than I did when I was younger. There are so many things I struggle with and have nobody to turn to. It's agitating when people ask, "What about your dad or brother"? Please...seriously? As much as I love them, they are not my mom. There are things in life that only a mom can be there for and understand. NOBODY is a replacement for a mother.
My mom was such a kind woman. She never spoke a harsh word about anyone & would give anyone the shirt off her back. I don't know how she managed to do so much. Sometimes I wonder if I've painted this image of her because she's no longer here, but ask anyone who knew her and they would say the same.
My best friend's mom passed away a few years ago and she was the closest thing I had to a mom. She was just as amazing as my own. I feel like I've lost my mother twice.
Happy Mother's Day to all my mom friends. I'm thinking of all my motherless friends out there. I love you and know you aren't alone today.
This year I am really going to try not to hide. I have tentative plans with friends, but I'm making no promises not to break them.
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